By Joe Fotalattee

Legendary Beatle Paul McCartney has expressed profound embarrassment over a lyric from his classic hit, “Saw Her Standing There.” The lyric in question, “Just seventeen, if you know what I mean,” has become a focal point for public ire as reports surface about a prominent middle-aged candidate vying for the Attorney General position of the United States, who may not have the most appropriate interests in mind.

“It’s absolutely mortifying,” said McCartney in a recent press conference, clutching a plush Beatle-shaped pillow as he recounted his memories from the 1960s. “When I wrote that lyric, I was thinking about youthful exuberance and summer flings, not the prospect of some aging predator lurking in the halls of government, drooling over it like it’s the Holy Grail of campaign slogans.”

“I never would have written ‘Saw Her Standing There’ if I suspected that people in government would be using my lyrics as a blueprint for indecency,” McCartney lamented, visibly distraught. “I thought I was writing a heartfelt tune about that exciting, fiery feeling of being young and in love, not a decipherable code for shady backroom Epstein/Lardass deals.”

As for McCartney, he can still find solace in other tunes. “I guess in the end, all you need is love… and a hefty dose of songwriting vigilance,” he sighed, retreating to a practice session on his ukulele, perhaps contemplating new lyrics about age-appropriate romance this time.