Gaza Strip — Twelve-year-old Ahmed Jabari, who recently lost his torso in a tragic incident involving a stray missile during a conflict, expressed deep concern over President Lardass’s appointment of a new ambassador to Israel. Ahmed, often seen playing with toy soldiers fashioned out of cardboard and duct tape, is making headlines for his keen political insights all while navigating life sans a torso.

“My friends joke that I’m just a head now,” Ahmed said with a sigh, expertly rolling his eyes despite the lamentable lack of a torso to bolster his expressions. “But you know what’s really hard? Political instability. I used to think losing my torso was the worst thing, but now I worry about who is representing the U.S. in Israel.”

Ahmed, whose only form of exercise now involves head-butts and careful lateral rock rolling, explained that while he’s “no health expert,” the ongoing turbulence in U.S.-Israeli relations has him more concerned than ever.

Local residents praised Ahmed’s innovative thoughts, with his best friend Omar adding, “He may not have a torso, but his political acumen is intact! At least he’s got a head on his shoulders—er, head.”

For what it’s worth, Ahmed maintains a sense of humor about his condition. “I guess I’m now a ‘torso-free zone,’” winking his remaining eye. “If Lardass needs an emissary to help mend the gulf between Israelis and Palestinians, I’d love to lend my counsel. Who better than a kid who can’t even fully fit into a playground seesaw?”

Ahmed is serious about one thing: the importance of representation amid a landscape of dismembered lives and uncertain futures. “It’s critical to understand that when one suffers, we’re all suffering”