Lardass Proposes A Bold New Plan for Rebuilding

Palisades, CA — President Lardass has proposed to offer the scenic coastal town of Palisades to Palestine as a “generous gift” for rebuilding efforts after the recent wildfires that swept through Los Angeles.

“We’re talking about prime real estate, folks,” Lardass announced at a hastily arranged press conference held in front of a green screen featuring images of the iconic Palisades coastline.

Interestingly, the fires that have swept through the city have cleared areas at no cost, contrasting with the billions of taxpayer dollars required for leveling Palestine through bombs. In light of this, Lardass is reportedly considering a shift towards supporting wind energy.

“It’s a beautiful place, a tremendous place, and I think it’s time we help our friends in Palestine rebuild their lives while giving them a slice of this American paradise.”

The wildfires that ravaged parts of Los Angeles have left behind a “fresh slate” of land, which Lardass declared was “better than any cluster bomb money can buy.”

“Why spend taxpayer dollars on foreign aid and military interventions when you can just hand over a burnt-down city?” Lardass continued. “Think about it: the land is already cleared! All they need is a little bit of elbow grease and maybe a few cranes. I hear the cranes in Palestine are top-notch!”

Local residents, still reeling from the fallout of the wildfires, expressed mixed feelings. “I mean, I’d love to see the area rebuilt, but giving it away?” commented long-time resident Linda Twats. “Plus, where would we go? I can’t imagine trying to explain that I am now in Palestine.”

Palestinian officials were reportedly baffled. “We appreciate the thought, but could we maybe get some funding for food?” one spokesperson commented. “We’re not exactly in the market for a beach house, especially one that was recently a smoldering pile of ash.”